12: Myths and Misconceptions about the Queer community

This week on Let’s Be Perfectly Queer Podcast, we dive deep into the common misunderstandings and myths that surround the LGBTQIA+community and shed light on the truth behind them.

Tune in for a candid, empowering, and enlightening discussion on the myths & misconceptions surrounding queerness.

Tell us about  what other myths and misconceptions you have heard about the queer community on our instagram @letsbeperfectlyqueerpodcast or email us on
Letsbeperfectlyqueerpod@gmail.com 

Below is a list of organisations that provide further information and support  information sourced from Health direct.

QLife — counselling and referral service for LGBTIQ+ individuals: call 1800 184 527 (3pm to midnight

daily) or chat online.

Lifeline — support for anyone having a personal crisis: call 13 11 14, 24/7, text, or chat online.

Suicide Call Back Service — for anyone thinking about suicide: call 1300 659 467.

Beyond Blue — for anyone feeling depressed or anxious: call 1300 22 4636, email or chat online, 24/7.

Headspace — mental health space for ages 12-25 years.

Kids Helpline — mental health support for young people aged 5-25 years. Call 1800 55 1800 anytime.

ACON — LGBTIQ+ health and HIV prevention and support.

TransHub — ACON’s digital trans and gender diverse platform.

Head to Health — a guide to digital mental health services from some of Australia’s most trusted mental

health organisations, including a list of phone support services.

PFLAG — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

ReachOut — mental health resources for young people.

Transcript

00:00:05
Welcome to let's be perfectly queer. That sounds so weird. Are you going to do my part? A queer podcast creating space to talk about all things queer. We are your hosts.

00:00:15
My name is my name is Archie. Oh, that was loud in my ears. Oh, bloody hell. My name's not Archie. My name's not Katie.

00:00:26
For people who like consistency, they're not going to like that intro at all. Do you want me to start mean if they like consistency? No, I meant just the words. Oh, yeah. Not the whole thing.

00:00:38
No. My name's Katie. And I'm Archie. That sounds wrong. I don't like it that way.

00:00:43
We can just do it the normal way. No, that's all right. We could just continue. It's funny because you keep on pointing at me as if I've forgotten something. We are your hosts and we are your hosts.

00:00:56
Questions of how you identify thinking, answers to clarify whether you're queen or somewhere in between. Let's be perfectly clear. Is that afterwards yeah. And we are your hosts. Yeah, that's what I keep saying.

00:01:11
See how weird it is to say? And then I always say, yes, we are, because it's such a weird thing because I never really thought about it because it's your section and I only really think about my sections, but when I say it, I'm like, well, yeah, of course we were your hosts. I guess we could not be your hosts and we could just be random people taking we could have a guest. Yeah, we have too many people lined up. You are really lovely.

00:01:34
Who. I'd love to get on sometime, but I just need to buy the new system. Exactly. We need money, guys. We need money.

00:01:39
And they've stopped letting us have ads for some reason. Yeah. Who knows? We'll see what happens. Yeah.

00:01:45
Hopefully they'll like us again. Yeah. Who knows? My voice sounds very low in this. Does it's?

00:01:49
Because you just had your T shirt. I had my T shirt last week. Last Friday. Last Friday. Sunday, because we're late.

00:01:55
We'll land. It was Sunday. We were late. Anyway, what's been happening? The world has been turning.

00:02:03
The World Cup's been happening. That's what's been happening. Yeah. No, that's been really cool. I've loved that.

00:02:07
I love all of the positive stuff towards the women's FIFA World Cup. Yeah, it's been amazing. Yeah. It's just been the most brilliant time to just be engulfed around women and women and in sports. Yeah, I love it.

00:02:21
I really love it, because there's something small about it that I'm like, let's embrace the queer community. And there's something maybe not overtly about being queer, but there is a lot of queer women in sport, and it's bloody awesome. And I've seen a lot of TikToks that say that there is a massive representation of LGBTQIA plus players in this World Cup. Yeah. Which I'm hoping to go through into a future episode, and I'll try to dive into that but also, just quickly, I don't think it's overtly been about queer either.

00:02:51
No. Like, when we've gone to the games, which have just been absolutely marvelous to go to, but when we've gone to the games, it's not like, oh, everyone's gay. It's not out there. It doesn't matter. It's all about the soccer, which is the most important thing.

00:03:03
And I really enjoy that. Not that there hasn't been controversy. There's been controversy with commentators and there's been controversy with interviewers as well, about some of the comments. So even I think it was the BBC reporter, and I'm sure people have heard about it. There was that BBC reporter who interviewed the Moroccan player, and it was asking the Moroccan player about, is there any gay players on the team?

00:03:27
And how is their life back in Morocco when it is illegal to be gay in Morocco? So why would he bloke but then, thinking about it, would he have asked the same thing about the men's team? No. Well, 100%, he wouldn't have. No.

00:03:42
And secondly, he knew what he was doing. Yeah. And then when he was cut off because the person who was running the interview said no, that's political, he said, no, it's not. I'm just asking about people's lives. No, it is political.

00:03:52
And if she was to say yes, that means she's outing her team. There is jail sentences that could perpetuating the persecution of another player. Right. What the fuck? Like, honestly.

00:04:03
Oh, no, it's not political at all. But then BBC came forward and they were saying, okay, we are not going to name the reporter for his safety. Well, I'm not surprised about that, but you know what I mean. But he had no regard when he was asking that question about the safety of the players. No, he did.

00:04:20
I get what they're doing. But in that point in time, he did not think at all about the safety of the Moroccan players. It's not about the sport. Like, I thought you actually had to ask questions that were referenced to the sport. Yeah, the game.

00:04:33
Absolutely. That's why the interviewer said, no, this has nothing to do with the sport. The questions need to be about football or soccer, depending whereabouts you are in the world. Because that's not about soccer. No, that's a personal question.

00:04:46
That's a personal attack, actually. Yeah, but other than that, the games have been amazing. The support's been amazing. We've seen Denmark versus China here in Perth. We also watched Jamaica versus oh, Panama.

00:04:58
It was Jamaica versus Panama. So we watched Jamaica versus Panama. We watched Denmark versus China, and we went to the China game. We're like that's. Brilliant.

00:05:05
It was so awesome seeing all the fans out the front. Then we went to the Panama Jamaica game and, oh, there wasn't that kind of thing. But the stands were going crazy. It was amazing. Right?

00:05:14
And then just on Thursday, I watched Morocco versus Colombia with my friend. And it was insane, the crowds that were so vocal. And Morocco won one nil, which meant they sent Germany home because Germany drew, which was this is the first time that Germany have not made the top eight in the Women's World Cup. Football is huge in Germany. Isn't it, like the number one sport in Germany?

00:05:38
It's the number one sport in a lot of countries, so I would say so, but I'm not 100% sure. But it's crazy. They're ranked number two. Yeah. And they're sent home by ranked 72nd.

00:05:48
Do you know what? We should be commentators, right? That'd be amazing. I think we'd make really good commentators. Maybe we need to watch some sports and just do like, this is our commentary on what's going on.

00:05:57
This World Cup is insane and a lot of the ones who are expected to win or go through have all been sent home. Canada's been sent home. Germany's been sent home. I think Argentina and Italy have also gone home. And Brazil.

00:06:11
Yeah. How are we still in this? I'm actually quite amazed. Like, I'm really looking forward to it and maybe a public holiday, that would be amazing. But, yeah, I don't know how we're still in this.

00:06:22
It's going to be great to the end. Yeah. And there's three African countries. It just shows how far the sport is improving and going forward, and I'm really excited to see what happens in these next few rounds in the top 16 and then going to the top eight and yeah, be interesting. Good times.

00:06:36
Good times. I love it. So what are we talking about today? Oh, yeah. So today we're going to do an episode on myths and misconceptions of the queer community.

00:06:45
I had a lovely chat the other day with one of my coworkers, shout out to hey Sharon, and we're just chatting about stuff. And I think through it, I was actually asking her what would she want to hear on the podcast, because she listens to us and she's absolutely awesome. And I was talking about stuff, and it kind of made me realize that there's still a lot of questions out there that people have about the queer community general in general, queer community in general that I just like to chat about because it's so much, and I guess I don't realize it so much because we are in the community. And for somebody who's outside the community might not have access to this, I mean, granted, you can Google it, but Google's going to give you like, a plethora of information that you have to sift through and try to find. And it's not a lived experience.

00:07:30
Sometimes it comes from a medical or a professional point of view and surveys, and it's not lived experiences. Yeah. Sometimes it's stats that aren't really relevant and all that kind of stuff. So I thought, yeah, let's do that. I kind of was looking at a couple of things I was Googling it, and I was like, you know what?

00:07:44
I'll chat GBTA and see what is the most prevalent ones out there, because I'm really interested. And then, of course, I got some ones as well that I've been thinking about, because sometimes you'll be talking or you'll overhear a conversation and somebody will say something, and you're like, what the fuck did they just say? Like, do they really think that? And so I want to clear some shit up. How do you feel about this topic?

00:08:08
I'm interested I've never really thought about this topic. I'm interested to see the myths. I probably already know a lot of them, but yeah, okay. Where do I want to start? We'll start off with an easy one.

00:08:18
All right. That all LGBTQIA people are the same. Oh, I thought that myth was debunked years ago. Yeah, but people don't understand it. People don't understand that.

00:08:27
Yeah, well, I guess from a basis, they understand that each letter means something different. But being gay is not just being gay. Like, being gay is different to being queer. And when you're looking at the LGBTQIA, you're looking at people who have diversity in their gender, but then also people who have diversity in their sexuality. So diversity and gender being people who are trans, who are non binary, who are, I guess, also intersex, and then you got people who have got diversity in their sexuality.

00:08:58
You're being like, your lesbians, you're gays, you're bisexuals. What else am I missing? Lesbian, gay, bisexual. What are you talking about? Asexual as well.

00:09:07
Everyone's got a different journey that they're going on. It's not all the did you know that Tasmania is the first state in Australia to recognize Asexual in government documentation? Oh, really? Not surprised. I feel like they come out first with everything.

00:09:20
Yeah. So I thought that I just read that article. It's on ABC. Net au and under the LGBT news. Oh, I love that.

00:09:26
I think that's really great. Something that feeds back into one of our other conversations is that people who are part of the queer community are mentally ill or psychologically unstable. Yeah. Now, that was still in the World Health Organization not long ago. So yeah, that's still probably a misconception that's still lingering around.

00:09:43
It is. And we did do our topics, if you want to learn more about that. We do have a whole episode on conversion therapy. So basically, debunked being part of the queer community does not mean that you're mentally ill. You might have some mental illness associated with it, but you're having depression or anxiety.

00:10:01
So the LGBTQIA plus community does make up a disproportionate amount of people surveyed who do have mental health issues, but it's not because they are LGBT. It's because of society and the pressures that are put on them due to being a part of a marginalized group who are still fighting for rights and equality. Yeah, totally. It happens to be a huge reason why people who are part of the queer community need to have more supports when it comes to mental health, because it affects us greater. We need more supports if we're still subject to so much discrimination.

00:10:35
Discrimination, homophobia, hate, that kind of stuff. So of course, if you're getting persecuted constantly, yeah, you're getting persecuted in daily life, in your workplace, in media, in television. So of course it's going to affect you. It's true. Another misconception is that it's a sin to be part of the LGBTQIA plus community in all religions.

00:10:56
And it's not. It's definitely not. So if you look at a lot of different religions, a couple of them that I found specifically is reforming Judaism. So that truly incorporates your queer community as well and bringing that into it. Depending on how you represent in Hinduism or also in Buddhism, there are some people that don't see a difference when it comes to sexuality or gender identity that that gets embraced in it.

00:11:20
Of course, people own their own religions and people bring and take their ideas of how they want to interpret it. But I was going to say that it's their own interpretation sometimes. Absolutely. But as a general thing, it's not definitely marked as oh no, that's very sinful. And then you've got some sectors of the Christian church as well.

00:11:41
So some Christian dominations are actually really embracing the queer community. And I wanted to write these down specifically because I'm like, oh, this might be good for some people who are because we need to struggling with their faith and their sexuality. Absolutely. Because there's been generally the historical references of being queer in Christianity have been incredibly negative with going to hell and all that kind of stuff. So there are churches out there, like the Metropolitan Community Church and the United Church of Christ, that actually embrace Christianity.

00:12:13
Embrace Christianity. They do embrace Christianity, but they think they would so embrace the queer community, which is really great because it means that you can still have that sense of spirituality and be around your community and your supports and celebrate that together. Whereas issues with religion versus spirituality is religion. You end up having so many people together and that's where things can get a little bit more warped. Whereas spirituality is your direct belief system with either God or whatever other higher beings are out there.

00:12:44
So it's very interesting. And of course, Druidry and Paganism, which I was just like, ha, yeah, and it's quite interesting. And we still need to get access to that documentary about when homosexuality being a sin was added to the Bible and the interpretations. And that's the thing when you're looking at contextuality and all that kind of stuff, and whatever it is called, basically the way you read texts and books is all based on your own experience and your own beliefs. So therefore everybody has a different interpretation of different things.

00:13:16
And whoever decided to translate the Bible and their interpretation has miscommunicated this to a lot of different people and has alienated a marginalized group of individuals because of this. And if you look back in history, LGBT people have been around forever. That's such a good point, because that was my other myth, is that the LGBT community is only either a modern thought or only part of Western culture. Whereas, as I've talked about previously, being gay or being gender or sexually diverse is being part of many cultures. So you saw same sex relationships expressed in a lot of ancient Greece, ancient Rome, ancient Egypt.

00:13:56
Like it's part of some of the hieroglyphs. Hieroglyphs? Yeah. You knew that word all here, right? So it was in ancient Hieroglyphs as well, which was depicted.

00:14:09
And then you have a lot of different societies that have been highlighting, celebrating, embracing different people that not sit just between the two different genders. So you have the Maori cultures. You have the Maori thank you. I was hoping that you would say it after Maori cultures. Samoan cultures.

00:14:28
Hawaiian, Thai, even first Australians. First Nation. Australians as well. I was going to say that. And so it's been part of history of the world for a long period of time.

00:14:38
So, no, it's not modern, it's not Western. If anything, Western culture is a bit shit about it. Yeah, Western culture has kind of diminished the importance that the LGBT people used to have in society. It's kind of just stunned a 180 and changed the whole landscape of what it is to be LGBT in society. Absolutely.

00:14:55
And if you then look at how the world embraced that in previous cultures, and then you look at how today and people are out there saying another myth, which is same sex people shouldn't be raising kids because apparently they raise same sex kids. Well, that's another myth. That's another myth also with same sex people converting other people to being same sex. Which again, another myth. Yes, but like the American Psychological Association has proven that there is no difference between children who are raised in same sex relationships to children who aren't.

00:15:29
That it's all based down to values and the amount of love and care that they end up giving. And the thing is, we are both queer, but we were both raised by not same sex, but we were both raised by heterosexual families. News to me. You know what I mean? Yeah, we did just spread out from nowhere.

00:15:45
It's not like it's been a taught behavior. Again, another myth that being queer can be taught. Because I grew up in a Catholic household and I went to a Catholic school, it was the priests. Don't talk about sex with the priests. And also keeping on the track of child, children, childs, the ones that we don't have, the non furry animals.

00:16:10
Right. So keeping on track of that, evidently. But the myth that people who are part of the queer community can't actually have biological kids. Yes. There's a lot of different ways to have kids in the world, guys, you don't explicit warning here just because we're going to be talking about snakes for a second.

00:16:27
You don't just need to put a penis into a vagina or ejaculate and the egg and the sperm get together and sit in a uterus for a while. That's not the only way that it works. No, and they should probably add that to the sex education as well. They definitely should. Especially because IVF is around.

00:16:42
Yeah. And that's actually incredibly common in this day and age. And sometimes women don't want to have a child with someone else. They want to be a solo parent. And that's normal too.

00:16:52
Yeah. There's a lot of women who are coming to the idea of having children later on in life and through IVF and through sperm donors because they feel, hey, I want to raise a family, but I haven't found the perfect person to do it with. So I'm going to do it by myself. Because this is something that I really, really want. And I don't need to have a partner to be a parent.

00:17:12
Absolutely. And some of those are the best relationships and there are some people out there that will debate this and they were evidently wrong. Because if you are a full human being and can provide everything to this child in regards to financial support, educational support, the love and care, having a safe roof over their head as one single individual, then that is often better than two parents who fight and bicker and divorce where family systems are not actually safe, where they're not supported, where they can't actually get a roof over their heads or food in their bellies or the educational equipment or access to the supports that they need to. So, I mean, another myth busted anyway, back to the old myths that you've collated. But yeah, that's true.

00:17:59
So you can either look at just back onto like biological children. Biological, biological children. There's a lot of ways about it. So queer people can still have biological kids in a lot of different ways. You can Google that yourself and have fun on that kind of trail, but you can still but then coming away from that, another myth is that you shouldn't then be looking at the children and be like, well, who's the mother?

00:18:21
Yeah. Or who's the father? Don't you hate that? Yeah, I've had a couple of friends who they went down the sperm donor route or route and then they were asked by nurses in a private reputable hospital here in Perth that who's the father and who's the mother. Like, bloody hell, come on.

00:18:43
This comes back to stereotypical gender roles and like, no, it doesn't matter. That doesn't mean you just because you're in a same sex relationship and say for this example, I'll say there's two women, it doesn't mean that one is going to take on the male father figure. You're both parents. You are going to work out what works with you in regards to the allocation and divide of different jobs or different care roles with the child. It has nothing to do with who's the father.

00:19:13
Right. And the same way outdated who's the mother. And if you're looking from a medical standpoint and you are wanting to ask the question of who shares the biological genetics to the child, because if you're looking from a point of view of history, processes and what might actually be inherited on, then there's a way to ask that. You could ask that exactly how I just said it by then. Who shares your genetic material?

00:19:37
They both might. Yeah. You say, okay, which one of you does the child share genetic material with? So we can get a bit of the history of your family so we know if there's any oh, hereditary diseases. Yes, if there's any hereditary diseases or stuff that the nursing and the medical staff might need to know about because there are a lot of considerations when it comes down to it.

00:19:57
And to be honest, both of them might share genetic material because sometimes siblings provide either the ovum or the sperm, and then it will be shared with their partner or their wife or husband or however the person identifies. Yes. And then they both, in essence, have biological connections to this child. Very true. Yeah.

00:20:17
Really debunked. I feel like mythbusted was a bit better, but I think we might get copyrighted if we ever get big enough. Yeah, probably. So. Just debunked.

00:20:25
Debunked. It's delightful. Other things that come out of that. Queer busted. Queer busted.

00:20:30
Oh, that's quite good. Yeah. I was also sitting here, and I'm like, what could it yeah. Queer busted. Boom.

00:20:35
I like that. Other things that kind of go down the same way because I'm trying to keep them pretty much interlinked is that being queer is associated with childhood trauma or you are upgrading. Yeah. I hate when someone goes, oh, you're part of the LGBT. What happened to you as a child?

00:20:51
I've actually had someone say that to me, and it's walked away. I was like, nothing happened to me as a child. I have a twin. We were brought up exactly the same. Is she queer?

00:21:01
No, she's not. Yeah, exactly. But it's so right, even though it is statistically shown that people part of the LGBTQIA plus community, they tend to be abused more than other people in both relationships as well as childhood. And it's proven in that fact they have less supports, and they end up having more abuse towards them. But that abuse doesn't make them queer.

00:21:25
They were queer to start off with. They're part of the LGBTQIA plus to start off with. You don't choose this. Another queer busted. Yeah.

00:21:33
That's another myth. Yeah. Is that you don't choose it. And it's not your upbringing. And it's not because people have expressed in my life because you went to a same sex school.

00:21:43
It's also not because where you were raised, it's not any of that kind of stuff. None of that is attributed to you being queer or you being part of the LGBTQIA plus community. I always find that, oh, when did you choose to be gay? Or when did you choose to be lesbian, bi, all that kind of stuff. And I love when they come back and they say, okay, so when did you choose to be straight?

00:22:03
Oh, I didn't choose to be straight. Exactly. Exactly. How is it any different? And on that note also, it's that sexuality is not a linear thing.

00:22:12
No, it's not. And I think even within the queer community, it's that some people believe that every bisexual will then turn into a lesbian or then turn in gay. It's not how it works. And that every non binary person turns trans. It's such a ridiculous thing.

00:22:27
Nonbinary do come under the trans umbrella, but not everybody's going to go onto hormone replacement surgery or therapy. And this is the whole thing of where no is a full sentence. Being bi is a full sentence, being non binary is a full sentence. It doesn't necessarily mean that your journey is going to go on to anywhere. Not saying that your journey might not go on to anywhere because of course it takes a long time and it's actually quite a struggle to figure out who you are.

00:22:52
So say with Asexuality, asexuality goes under a whole umbrella of being totally asexual, which you might find that you have no sexual attraction to anybody. But there's also, like grayscale asexual, which is people who rarely find that they are attracted to people. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're not, and it's not something that is not something that sits with you, but everything's a spectrum and it changes. It changes in people who find that they're part of the queer community later on in life. It's something that can change, it's something you find out later.

00:23:24
It's something that will change later on depending on the situation or the safety that you have in your life and with your social supports. There's so many factors that equate to it. It's not necessarily linear. No. And also something that I was watching a while ago, another Queer Busted is that coming out?

00:23:41
Happens once? Yeah. Goodness gracious me. I've come out three times on my journey, but then I also consistently have to come out daily, weekly, monthly all the time. And it's really frustrating because it's like, I know I should, but I haven't changed a lot of the documentation yet because every time I have to change documentation, I have to come out to some stranger in person.

00:24:03
So just certain things that I should have changed that I haven't because it's so exhausting having to constantly come out to strangers. Yeah. And then that moment of them trying to figure out, oh, wait, what did you say? Yeah. And then they have to boot it in their mind, and then their thinking comes on board of being like, how they feel about trans people.

00:24:23
Right. And then I feel embarrassed because they are embarrassed, and then they project on me. So I feel then I have to say sorry. And it's ridiculous. There's so much things that I have to change, but I just haven't yet because it's exhausting.

00:24:35
Yeah. I'm not surprised. It's a constant drain. And especially this actually pops into one other that being trans is trendy or that it's just a style that's happening now. Right.

00:24:46
And I'm like it's only happening because people have created safe spaces accessible for trans health care, trans freedom, trans safety. But they have created some small spaces in which that it is safe to be trans. And that therefore, if you think that it's safe, then you might then go into that space as well. And therefore, we are seeing more trans people now, identifying themselves to the world. You think there's more trans people?

00:25:11
There's not. Like we just talked about before. There's not? No. And the thing is, as well with being trans and stuff, nobody would choose this.

00:25:19
It is a long, exhausting journey, and no trans person would actually choose to be trans. It sucks. And you're constantly having the inner turmoil in your mind from a very, very young age, and so you wouldn't choose it. And another myth can I say a bit myth? Oh, please.

00:25:35
That trans women are taking over sports. They make up 1% they make up less than 1% of the athletes in women's sport. Yeah. Yet, because it's such a hot topic at the moment, people are making out that it's bigger than Ben Her. Yeah.

00:25:55
They put in the media because people read it and it gets them heated and it gets them talking about it. But trans women make up less than 1% of the female athletes in sport. Yeah. It's crazy. But people get on their high horse about all this kind of stuff.

00:26:08
It's really frustrating. I find it really frustrating in those ways. And I think maybe we need to go into that in a future episode because there has been some people have asked us about that and what's our opinion? Oh, yeah. It's definitely in an upcoming episode.

00:26:22
Not sure how far in the future, because we do have with how we record, but it's coming, guys. It's coming. We're listening to you. Yeah, we know. And we will talk about it.

00:26:30
Yeah. All the things you tell us are in a list in my brain. Everything you say, all the things I'm like we can't do it every episode. No, I know. You're dancing in your brain.

00:26:40
The one that really bugs me that used to happen a lot more when I was younger, is that when you come out as queer. To somebody that they're assuming that you're attracted to them. Oh my used. I hate that so much. Yeah, it doesn't happen so much these days because I'm in a partnership and it'd be like, yeah, my partner Archie and then all that kind of stuff.

00:27:00
And people assume that you're queer when you say partner, which I kind of am happier with some days and sometimes not so much. But it was that whole thing when I was buying. I'd be like, oh, I'm buying. And people are like and then they just assume you're attracted. I have standards.

00:27:13
Right. I'm not attracted to you. Right. It's just like I see you as family or a sibling. There is no way and there's so much things that I would use so many red flags in this that there's no way.

00:27:23
I know. All your dirty laundry. Yeah, absolutely. Or that two people who are queer or two people who are bi can't have a friendship without having some kind of sexual chemistry. No, I've got plenty of friends who are queer that I have never slept with.

00:27:38
Right. Like it's just weird also that bi people are promiscuous. We're not promiscuous just because we have opening to how people say is like oh, generally most of the world only have 50% of people that they can go for. It's not 50. Take out the grannies, take out all the old people, take out all the children and take out all the people who do not want to sleep with you.

00:28:00
We all have the same kind of percentage. It doesn't matter. Everybody has the same chance. It's not like all the world wants to sleep with you. So what are you talking about?

00:28:08
If you think about asexuals and pansexuals, because we're both in essence because asexuals are not attracted to very rarely feel anyone like they're attracted to anybody. Gray asexuals very small percentage only have pansexuals who are attracted to people only on their general personality. Yeah. Do you know how many shit personalities are in the world? So many shit personalities.

00:28:29
Basically a shining star, my love. I try. But also linking into the promiscuousness of things is that gay people are hypersexualized. Yes. Or are hypersexual.

00:28:39
No. I'm going to talk about that in some news in my next episode. Because you can still have long term relationships in the gay community. It's just that you've not heard about them as much. Because first of all, the marginalized, second of all, persecuted.

00:28:54
Third of all, gay marriage hasn't been a thing for that long. No, we really haven't. We've been fighting it for so long, we've had to hide it for so long. So you haven't seen the long term relationships, which is why they're not being expressed. So all of those long term relationships are friends putting in quotation marks for the podcast.

00:29:09
And have you seen all of those videos and photos that come out of people in the 1618 hundreds who were in long term relationships, but they never said it. And you could see, and there's like these hidden kissing photos that people have found, and they've hidden because they don't want society to know that, hey, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, everybody trans. All of the queer community have been around forever because they don't want to be persecuted, right? This is why we're all coming out now, because it's a little bit safer and we have some rise, right? We've been around forever.

00:29:40
Oh, goodness me. Also, other things I get a bit annoyed about is people who say that drag queens want to be women. No, they don't. But on that note, another Queer Busted is that you can't be a woman and be a drag queen. That is another queer busted.

00:29:56
It is another Queer Busted, which we talked about in our drag episode History of Drag. Listen to that one. It's very good. You can't be a woman. Do drag.

00:30:02
Have you not heard of drag kings? Have you not heard of, like, bio queens? Educate yourself honestly. There's so many different things. But also you have to understand what the pronouns of the drag queen is.

00:30:15
Sometimes with drag queens, when they're in drag, they will identify with her as she. And when they're out of drag, they might use different pronouns like he, him, or they them, they them. And so don't assume people's pronouns. Never assume. Another thing that links into that is that people who are non binary are all androgynous yeah, no, that's not it at all.

00:30:38
It's not it even in the slightest. So just because someone's terms are nonbinary and they're presenting as female doesn't mean that their pronouns are she at all. And it's the same way. It's just because somebody's presenting as male, if somebody is non binary, it means that they could be anything or they could be nothing. They could be agendas as well.

00:30:59
They not have any gender that they identify with. So don't assume, and don't assume that somebody who's androgynous actually is nonbinary or don't assume that someone who is androgynous is actually part of the LGBTQIA plus community, they might just like dressing like that. It might just be their face, right? They could have just be like they might have just been bored like that. Leave everyone alone.

00:31:20
Maybe they were born with it. Maybe they're androgyny maybe it's maybelline. And that really annoys me because I've seen a lot of comments about people who are non binary who present more feminine or who may have had gender conforming surgeries, and then they're like, well, why are you presenting as feminine? Because you've had top surgery. And it's like, well, that doesn't matter, right?

00:31:42
It's your own body and you do things to make yourself feel more comfortable. You're in your own body. And if you look at that so women who don't feel good about their chest, they get a boob job. Yeah, but that's okay. And they get lip fillers and some men.

00:31:57
It's okay when you appear to be heterosexual and cisgendered and you do things to your body to make you feel better. But it's not okay when someone from the LGBT community does it. But also small things, like, you take Viagra, right? Like people who take Viagra because they want increased performance. Like, in essence, there are people out there who have great gender dysphoria associated with their genitals, generally penises, who end up taking things that enhance their penis.

00:32:25
That's a form of gender dysphoria in a way. It's to make them feel better. They're altering their appearance in some way, but nobody has an issue about that. Yeah, we've all dyed our hair in the past because we've wanted to reinvent ourselves. Oh, my goodness.

00:32:40
Tell me a person who hasn't had a thought of, like, oh, I need to cut my hair at 09:00 p.m. Or, oh, I need to dye my hair a different color at 09:00 p.m. Or who's want to reinvent themselves after they've had a major traumatic event. All we're trying to do in the world, and I think this is what everyone wants to try to achieve is that their outside matches their inside. And it's quite hard because a lot of us are born, if not everyone's born, with not the ideal of what they want to see.

00:33:07
Everyone's trying to change themselves to make them feel better, whether that's clothing, whether that's look, whether that's dyeing your hair, whether that's getting plastic surgery or Botox or sometimes getting mastectomies, because you have males who have gynemastia as well that have extra breast tissue, that want to get that cut off as well. And there is a lot of different things, even tattoos, in a way. So there are so many things that we do to make ourselves feel better on the inside and outside. So why are we marginalizing saying that this is only for heterosexual people? That is very true.

00:33:42
I don't get it. I really don't. And also going down this track is that when you've got somebody who they don't look gay, and assuming that everyone who is a gay man should be really feminine or everyone who's a gay woman or a lesbian is really masculine. That's not it. No, it doesn't necessarily mean that you might be.

00:34:03
Some people are extra feminine. Some people aren't. Some people don't sit in between the two extremes either. I used to get annoyed all the time when I was presenting as bi, and people will be like, well, you don't look like you're bi. Yeah, you don't look like you're gay.

00:34:16
What does it mean to look bi? What? Sorry. Do I need to shave off half the side of my head? Do a little cut in my eyebrow?

00:34:23
Make sure that I've got a septum piercing? There was all this thing the other day that it was like, all these gay tattoos. Get a gay tattoo, so then people know that you're gay. It's like, no. Do I need to write bisexual on my head?

00:34:34
Or pan? Probably need to have a badge that says bisexual or pansexual or gay or lesbian or trans or whatever. It's all about assumptions. Freaking hate that. It bugs me so much.

00:34:45
There's also the assumption that Asexuals are broken and that you just haven't found the right person or even that applying to any part of the queer community. Yeah, if you have a same sex lesbian couple or you just haven't found the right man yeah, you haven't found the right man to have sex with you, it's ridiculous. Do you know that gets called out so often? That especially happens with lesbian couples because it feeds through to that hypersexualized idea that you're going to have a threesome with them and they're just like, oh, I can be the man that turn you guys straight. It's horrible.

00:35:21
No one's wanted your opinion. Nobody cares for your opinion. Go back into your hole. It's absolutely horrible. Just walking past that, getting screamed out at you, it's disgusting.

00:35:32
And it makes you feel unsafe. The amount of times I've felt unsafe when I was presenting in queer female relationships that people would scream out to us and I'm like, I'm just trying to hold my partner's hand. That's literally all I'm trying to do. And you're making me feel like I'm persecuted and that I'm unsafe. And sometimes it is really unsafe and you're like, I can't even do a simple thing to hold my partner's hand.

00:35:55
And that gets taken for granted in every heterosexual relationship out there. I can't just feel normal in a relationship. And I am so happy in a lot of ways. And we've talked about this previously that we present as a heterosexual couple because I can hold your hand and I don't have to worry about it. I don't have to feel unsafe.

00:36:14
I don't have to feel like someone's comments or someone's gaze is going to come at me and yeah, I'm feeling a little tearful at the moment, but it hurts your heart so much if that's something that's constantly in your background of being like, am I going to be safe? And that's how a lot of queer people feel. Am I safe? Am I safe to come out? Am I safe to be who I am?

00:36:38
Which is all that we're asking for is safety. When I first came out and I was presenting as female and just walking around northbridge, it was not safe. I had people push me, shove me, throw punches at me, just for looking the way I was and just walking past them. And it was always men. Yeah.

00:36:54
It was never women who tried to attack me. It was always men. It was like me being quite masculine, presenting almost like it was attacking their masculinity. Yeah. It's so far from having anything to do with them.

00:37:07
I don't understand how they can have such an opinion on something that doesn't affect them in the slightest. No, like from any facet. It baffles me that that could be something that really people feel so harshly and aggressively about when it literally has nothing to do with them at all. My last one is my biggest one, and I wanted to address this because this used to be such a big thing when a HIV pandemic was happening, when HIV was more prevalent. Is that how closely linked being gay to being HIV is?

00:37:42
And it's not. No. So for those people out there who still have no idea about HIV, so HIV, what it actually stands for is Human Immunodeficiency Virus. And how it's transmitted is through a hell of a lot of different ways. Sex happens to be the most prevalent one, vaginal, anal and oral sex.

00:38:02
If you're not using protection, specifically condoms, as well as like physical protection, because how it's transmitted is through blood borne virus. So that's why it was pinned onto the queer community, because they were like, oh, anal sex is the cause for everything. But it's not. It gets spread through vaginal sex and it gets spread through oral sex as well, just as much. Just because if you happen to have a nick in any of the cavities that you're using and you're having sex with somebody who's HIV positive, that has a high viral load, and I'm talking about high viral loads in the way that is a higher chance of that actually getting spread to you.

00:38:39
Because some people with HIV have low viral loads and they manage it for the rest of their life with antivirals and all that kind of stuff, and they can't have reasonably safe sex with a lot of precautions in place. But it was so much stigma with the gay community. It was fucking horrible, the amount of persecution. But like, HIV can get transmitted through vaginal, anal, oral sex, it can get transmitted through sharing of needles, which is a really huge one. It can get transmitted through exposure at work.

00:39:09
So specifically my work, so through needle stick injuries or any work that you do, like surgeries or that kind of stuff, it can get shared through personal items. Never share your razors with anyone. Guys don't share your toothbrushes either, because when you brush your teeth, some people have like you can get the blood on your toothbrush that goes again into somebody who might have gindivitis or something else like that. You're sharing blood and there's a lot of different diseases that are through blood to blood contact. And I just wanted to mention this because it was such a huge myth that this is my last myth that I'm talking about is that has to be busted because there are some people now who still think and a lot of the other disease processes are associated with being gay or associated being the queer community.

00:39:51
And it's not you need to educate yourself on what transmission is and whether it's from airborne transmission, or whether it's from people coughing at you, or whether it's from bloodborne contact, no matter what activities you're doing, they can increase your risk of it. It's never associated with being queer or being gay or doing any of that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just be safe. Yeah, completely.

00:40:16
So, in essence, there are so many myths and misconceptions associated with a gay community. It doesn't take a whole lot of common sense to be like, oh, that might not be right. And if somebody tells you what you're saying isn't right, then actually probably believe them or do your research. If somebody says, that hurt me, don't undermine them. And just communicate and be open with your communication and learn.

00:40:36
That's all you have to do. Yeah, but there are a lot of different things out there. There are so many different places that you can go find your information. Literally. Just Google, look at the 50 million podcasts that out there and we'll link some stuff in the show notes for you to have a read and have a look at as well.

00:40:50
Absolutely. There is so much stuff out there, so educate yourself, be kind to one another. Thank you for listening. Yeah. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate review and subscribe and we'll see you guys next time.

00:41:03
Yeah, and until next time, I hope that we have been perfectly queer.

00:41:14
Red sequence.